Stuffed owls.

Small owl
Great horned plush
Snowy owl
Burrowing owl
A second burrowing owl
Barn owl
Not an owl, but still a bird.

Sparkling cider always feels more sophisticated in a wine glass.

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I actually rather enjoyed it this year. Not quite as awkward as last years "family gathering" full of unfamiliar, and not particularly friendly people. This year it was just myself, Shawn, His mother, and one of our mutual friends. Thanksgiving fell on my usual volunteer day, and as opposed to taking the day off, I opted to compromise by going in early around 9:30am, and leaving around 2.  There was a surprising number of people volunteering that day, although I was informed that it wasn't unusual for a butt-load of staff and volunteers to show up on the major holidays, and knock everything out early so we could all relax. 

The work day turned out to be a very productive one, even with my gross lack of sleep the night before, and my tendency to forget to eat while I'm there. (I'm used to a more structured setting where I was told to take a break at a specific time. Things at Sarvey are more relaxed, and I can pretty much break to eat whenever I need to within reason. Unfortunately I have a tendency to get wrapped up in things, and go the entire 6 hour shift without eating.) I ended up cleaning all of the Ed animal flights that day with the exception of Waskate (A bald eagle who can be aggressive,) and Scout, the grumpy raccoon. This meant I got to clean Freedom's flight for the first time, and finally got to meet our little celebrity. When I approached the flight she was right up front, and already interested. She didn't seem to mind my being there at all, which was about what I expected from her. She mostly just stood on the ground at the front of her flight, and watched me as I made my rounds. When it came time for me to clean the area she was in, she diligently ambled out of the way and made herself comfortable elsewhere. She's smaller then I thought she would be, but then again I'd probably feel differently with 12 lbs of bird hanging off my arm.

Other then Athena's usual antics the day was fairly uneventful, though one of the Peregrines, Isda, decided to get curious about me and got right up in my face while I was in her mew. I also nearly had a squirrel get adventurous and try to escape on me, but other then that yeah, not so eventful.

I am sad to report though that Road Warrior, a bald eagle with a head injury that stayed with us for two weeks or so, had to be humanely euthanized. Last Thursday when I saw him he seemed to be making good progress, though he had some depth perception issues when he ate. I guess over the week there were just too many complications, and it was in his best interest let him go. I'm sad, I was rooting for him, even if I did know his chances weren't great.

Been focusing a lot more on birds recently with my budding interest in ornithology. This has been great for rekindling my interest in more artistic endeavors. Along with illustrations here and there I also started up a sketch journal, and have used it as an excuse to get into the nitty-gritty of Owl physiology. After I get the basics out of the way I plan to delve into the individual species common to the northwest, and develop some good general knowledge. My plan for the next few years actually involve pursuing a biology degree, and maybe doing my thesis on ornithology. I'd love to do bird-specific vet-work, but I realize that a general biology degree opens up more job opportunities then narrowing myself down into something so specialized. Honestly though, I'd probably be happy working at a Raptor center for minimum wage for the rest of my life. If going to school is what it will take, then that's what I'll do. 

This was supposed to be a black winged kite, but somewhere a long the way I realized the pattern on it's wing didn't look quite right, and by that point it was too late to change it. Guess I'll have to take it into account for next time. It reminds me more of a Plumbeous kites markings to be honest.

Great horned owl, and a favorite of mine among birds. I'm still attempting to figure out how to coax Athena (one of the Ed birds at Sarvey wildlife center,) into being more comfortable with my presence. As it is she's taken to getting territorial, and guarding her flight from me. She'll actually attempt to attack me through the wiring if I get too close. Thankfully I can usually get in and out to clean it before she gets too up in arms, but I'm worried that, that could change with her increasingly aggressive behavior. She's one of my favorite birds at  Sarvey even despite her rotten attitude, so I'm hoping to make amends with her at some point. The bird I referenced for the image above was NOT Athena, just as a side note. Here's a picture of Athena's typical stance when I enter her flight, (as you can see, not a happy bird, with her feathers pressed to her body, and her ear tufts straight up in alarm:)

I've also become especially fond of Northern Saw-whet owls, although for whatever reason, I don't mind them nearly as interesting to draw or paint as the Great Horned Owls. However, Saw-Whets, and Great Horneds have become pretty regular staples in my dreams. Generally I dream about Saw-whets more so, though I can't say I know why, really. I've gotten up close and personal with both species fairly regularly over the last month, even going to far as to  tube a Saw-Whet on one occasion, but I also see a variety of other raptors regularly including Barred, Western screech, Short-eared, Snowy and Barn owls. Sarvey has a pretty diverse group of Ed birds. (Including two Peregrines, Three eagles, a red tail, a possum, a bobcat, an imprinted dear, and a particularly grouchy raccoon. It's definitely afforded me the opportunity to have a very enriching experience working there, even as a volunteer, and it has really got me worked up to the point where if I miss a day it puts me in a terrible mood, and everyone around me would probably suffer as a result.

A quick doodle of a Norther saw-Whet Owl

I also took some recent, (although not particularly awesome,) pictures of Tadita our Barred owl, and Iya the Barn owl. Iya was especially difficult to get a picture of as she prefers to hide up in the rafters (She IS a barn owl after all,) and the light is quite diffused from my meager vantage point. It most likely also did not help that I was using my droid to the take the pictures, and as such the quality is usually terrible unless the lighting is perfect anyway.

Tadita the Barred Owl

Iya the barn owl

Iya is another favorite of mine, mainly because she has a lot of personality. She hates men for one. I don't know what it stems from, but according to the staff, they can't send men in to clean her flight as she has a tendency to dive bomb them. She aims for the head, or so I've heard. Barn owls don't hoot, so she generally has to let us know whats up through the use of other vocalizations. Trust me, Iya is definitely a talker. She twitters, and screeches just about every time she sees someone, and often when I'm in her flight she make a raspy sort of hissing sound, that I believe is a fairly typical call for them. Possibly territorial. She doesn't hiss, or snap her beak at me though, so I think I'm pretty well off with her. She tends to lose interest in my being in her flight eventually too and settles back down to sleep. At least someone is comfortable with me (I'm talking to you Athena.) I enjoy twittering at her, as I'll generally get a response, something I haven't been able to elicit in the other birds (nor have I necessarily tried.)

 Brown Sicklebill, Female.

Common Kingfisher

Owl stuff

I keep coming across adorable owl stuff, so I'm going to start posting it here.

Clothes:
Sweatshirt
Saw-whet shirt
Owl hat
Great horned owl shirt

Jewelry:
Necklace
Owl timepiece necklace
Heart pendant
Owl love pendant
Starstruck owl
Branch owl
Vintage pendant

Bathroom:
Bathroom set

Kitchen stuff:
Dry measures.
Teacup, and saucer.
Cookie jar
Heart platter

Artwork:
Three owls.
Tattoo design
A scops drawing
Barn owl
Blue owl
Cowboy Ural owl

Electronics:
Flash drive!
Another Flash drive.

Misc:
Trinket dish.
Hungover owl playing cards.
Etched owl hook
Clock
Purple plaid flask!
Great horned owl backpack
Owl purse
Pocket mirror
Saw-whet bag
Adorable book ends
Cute bag

Ramblings

For the first time, in a very long while I've found myself lying awake into the wee hours of the morning lost in my thoughts. Thoughts that I suppose wouldn't hold much presidence outside the confines of my own mind, but at the time seem to be important enough.

This latest batch of ramblings was born out of a fairly vivid dream I had during the day, after shawn had left for work and I'd drifted back to sleep. I don't know if it was the lack of his presence, or just my minds innate ability to remind me how selfish I'm being when I fall into a routine, but my mind decided to choose then to send me careening into a dream full of teenage angst, and relationship hopping (my dream self, despite better judgement, and altogether unsure of how it happened was suddenly dating someone else, and was desperately confused and trying to steer herself back into being in a relationship with the person she actually cared about.)

Dream drama aside, what was actually important, as well as being part of the myriad of thoughts swirling about my conciousness, is my minds uncanny ability to take familiar places where I once lived, or stayed for any amount of time, and turn them into perverse alterations of themselves. My mind adapts these very places to suit just about any, and all dreams I might have; not including my numerous zombie related dreams, but I digress.

perhaps even more confusing is the fact that my mind will mix and match interiors, and exteriors. For instance, take my dream from yesterday; at one point the dream required I enter shawn's mother's house, or at least that's what it appeared to be on the outside. Once inside I found myself in a slightly altered version of my grandparents house in california. I don't know why my mind picks these two places to manifest most often, (with the occaissional smattering of the house I grew up in,) but it does. The odd thing about it, is that I spent so little time in either of these places, so I suppose I don't understand why my subconcious chooses to manifest them so reglarily.

In my mental excursions I've found myself debating a few other points well. Although I suppose the only other thing that's really sticking is my battle to understand my own intelligence, and capabilities. I find that I often don't understand things I hear, or know what something is off the bat. Ultimately I have trouble discerning whether this is a result of lack of exposure or lack of ability. I went through a similar mental struggle when it came to surviving on my own, and the basic skills neccessary to do so. At the time, and even now sometimes, I find myself frustrated with myself for not being able to do something so seemingly simple. My mental struggle goes something along the lines of: this is supposed to be easy, something everyone knows how to do, so why can't I just do it? Shouldn't I be able to reason my way through it? I find that I start to over anylize the situation. 

Take laundry for instance. We take advantage of how naturally it comes to us to do a load of laundry, but if you take someone who had never been taught how and put them in from of a machine with a basket of dirty clothes its only natural that they become confused. The basic concpt is simple. The clothes and soap go in and the machine washes them, but wait, do you just out the soap in there with the clothes, or is there some special compartment for it? And what's the difference between temperatures, and different types of wash cycles. Wait, what do you mean I have to wash stuff seperately, colors run? Even as simple and automated as a task might be to someone who was taught, doesn't mean it isn't a scary concept for someone else. But again, is it a lack of knowledge that drives their confusion, or inability?             

I came across a lot of adverse reactions to my lack of understanding. When I was asked to do something I didn't understand you may as well have been speaking another language. Perhaps it's so normal in our society that mostly everyone is taught basic skills as a child, and its expected of us adults to know and understand them. But what of those of us that don't?  My intent isn't to make excuses, but pehaps to garner a bit of understanding. Chances are that people like me already feel stupid for our lack of knowledge, but we aren't unwilling to learn. I pick up most skills fairly fast. I can't help but feel handicapped though.

Right now I'm working myself out of years of bad habits, and untapped skills. I try to feel intelligent. I try to be genuine, and outgoing, though I feel like I come across too strong in person. Most of all I'm making an attempt to make my life something I can appreciate. Ill always have doubts and fears. Don't most people? But I suppose what's important is that I've decided not to let them overpower me. I want to be happy. I want to appreciate what I have. I want to be a kind, benevolent, genuine person. I want to be ingelligent, and moreso I want to feel like I am. I'm working toward these things. I'm taking baby steps but I'll get there some day. Its difficult not to focus on the negitive aspects of life. Its easy to fall into a stifling, unhealthy routine. Its easy to be ignorant, and depressed. I'm sick of easy. I want to do something with my life. Something profound.           

Blegh.

found out some terrible news last night, but im not going to get into it. nothing life threateing. pardon the lack of capitolization. for some reason my phone wont let me do it in blogger.           okay, so first updatemy computer is down for the count. hard drive is failing. also imalso have my allergy test on october fifth, so im going to be eating gluten for the next two weeks. awesome.

Sketches and health update.

My allergist appointment is on October 5th. Ate gluten again for the first time today and spent the majority of it suffering hardcore. It's going to be a long two weeks.

Already a great day.

I spent the morning finishing up the timeline for my story and mocking up the first chapter. I'm on a roll with this one, and happy with the basic premise and the flow so far. I'll definitely be doing quite a bit of fine tuning with this one though.

My second high point of the morning was walking into the living room to find out Gears 3 arrived. Everything looks awesome so far, and I'm looking forward to playing it tonight.

The third great thing was I had my doctors appointment with my new GP. She was awesome. She was attentive, respectful of the fact that I've done my research on Celiac, and best of all she listened, and actually considered it as a possibility, and we talked about it for awhile. Actually talked about it. She's referred me to an allergist, and I hope to be making an appointment soon, even though it means eating gluten for two weeks beforehand. That's going to suck, but I feel like I'm finally making progress. None of my other doctors, or for that matter my friends and family have listened to my theories on possibly being Celiac, or having a gluten allergy/intolerance. I'm so happy that I'm finally making headway.